Jokes

Q: What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his
exorcist?
A: He was repossessed.

Q: What do birds give out on Halloween?
A: Tweets.

Q: What do goblins drink when there hot and thirsty?
A: Ghoul-aid!!!

Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

Q: what do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.
A: sour-puss

Q: What can't you give the headless horseman?
A: A headache.

Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business?
A: He wanted to get ahead in life.

Q: What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
A: The cold shoulder.

Q: What's a zombie's favorite cold breakfast cereal?
A: Rice Creepies.

Q: What do you call the architectural plan of a haunted house?
A: A boo print.

Q: What did the scarecrow use to patch himself?
A: A pumpkin patch!!!

Q: What is the most frightful way to travel?
A: By scareplane!

Q: What do cannibals eat for dessert?
A: Chocolate covered aunts.

Q: What is a cannibal's favorite game?
A: Swallow the leader.

Q: Where do cannibals shop for fine furniture?
A: Eatin' Allen's.

Q: Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant?
A: Dinner costs an arm and a leg.

Q: Why can't you bury people who live opposite a graveyard ?
A: They're not dead yet!

Q: How did the glamorous ghoul earn her living ?
A: She was a cover ghoul !

Q: How do you know that you are talking to a undertaker ?
A: By his grave manner !

Q: Why was the little boy unhappy to win first prize for the best
costume at the Halloween party ?
A: Because he just came to pick up his sister !

Q: Why was everyone tickled by the fried chicken at the Halloween party
?
A: Because the feathers were still on the chicken.

Q: Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween ?
A: It was for "tick or tweet" !

Q: What do stupid kids do at Halloween ?
A: They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins !

Q: Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing ?
A: Because they're crab apples !

Q: How do you get the most apples when bobbing at Halloween?
A: Wear a snorkel !

Q: What is a devils picket line called ?
A: A demonstration!

Q: What is the demons' favourite TV sitcom?
A: Fiends !

Q: Why do demons and ghouls get on so well ?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend !

Q: What do you call a demon who slurps his food ?
A: A goblin !

Q: What is the best way to get rid of a demon ?
A: Exorcise a lot !

Q: What did the demon do when he bought a new house ?
A: He called it "Gnome Sweet Gnome" !

Q: What do demons have for breakfast ?
A: Devilled eggs !

Q: What do demons have on holiday ?
A: A devil of a time !

Q: Why do demons hang out with ghouls ?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend !

Q: Did you hear about the ghouls favourite hotel ?
A: It had running rot and mould !

Q: What airline do ghouls fly with ?
A: British Scareways !

Q: Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties ? A: Because there is
lots of school spirit !

Q: A boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet on his head. "Are you a
ghost ?"
A: "No, I'm an unmade bed !"

Q: A boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet on his head. "Are you an
unmade bed ?"
A: "No, I'm an undercover agent !"

Q: What do you call a wizard from outer space ?
A: A flying sorcerer !

Q: What happened to the wizard who brushed his teeth with gunpowder ?
A: He kept shooting his mouth off !

Q: What happened when the wizard turned a boy into a hare ?
A: He's still rabbiting on about it !

Q: Why did the wizard where red, white and blue suspenders ?
A: To keep his trousers up !

Q: What's the first thing that a wizard does in the morning ? A: He
wakes up !

Q: What do wizards stop for on the motorway ?
A: Witchhikers !

Q: Why did the wizard jump off the top of the Empire State Building ?
A: He wanted to make a hit on Broadway !

Q: What do you get if you cross a river with an inflatable wizard ?
A: To the other side !

Q: What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a wizard ?
A: Tyrannosaurus hex !

Q: What do you call a wizard who's black and blue all over ?
A: Bruce !

Q: What do you call a wizard who lies on the floor ?
A: Matt !

Q: What do you call a wizard lying in the gutter ?
A: Dwayne !


Q: Who did the wizard marry ?
A: His ghoul-friend !

Q: What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus ?
A: The police made him bring it back again !

Q: What do you call a wizard who has fallen into the sea on a barrel ?
A: Bob !

Q: What must a wizard be to receive a state funeral ?
A: Dead !

Q: What kinds of wizards can jump higher than a bus ?
A: All of them, busses don't jump !

Q: What happened when the wizard met the witch ?
A: It was love at first fright !

Q: What would happen if you threw lots of eggs at a wizard ?
A: He would be egg-sterminated !

Q: If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be ?
A: Out for the count !

Q:Two cannibals were talking. The first says, "Gee, I hate my
mother-in-law."
A: The 2nd replies, "So, try eating something else.

Q: "Your wife sure makes a good roast." commented the first cannibal. A:
"Yeah," replied the second. "I'm really going to miss her."

Q: Two cannibals are eating a clown.
A: One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"